Happy Holidays and Family Separation?

8 Tips for Creating Joy While Your Loved One Serves

Acknowledging the Challenges of Your Loved One Being Away

• Physical Absence

• • Challenge: The physical absence of a military member or first responder during the holidays can cast a shadow on the festivities.

• • Strategy: Embrace virtual connection through Facetime, phone calls, text, or email. Think about how you can allow your loved one to be present in the celebrations, even if miles apart.

• Uncertainty and Worry

• • Challenge: The nature of the job may bring uncertainty and worry about the safety of your loved one.

• • Strategy: Focus on what you can control. Create routines, engage in self-care, and connect with others who understand your situation.

• Adjusting Traditions

• • Challenge: Traditions may need to be adjusted or reimagined due to the absence of a family member.

• • Strategy: Create new traditions or modify existing ones to maintain a sense of continuity. It could be a special ornament, a holiday letter, or a virtual toast.

• Managing Expectations

• • Challenge: Managing expectations around the holidays can be emotionally challenging.

• • Strategy: Set realistic expectations and communicate openly with your family about the plans. Check out our guide on setting boundaries with family over the holidays here. Flexibility can be the key to a more enjoyable holiday season.

Strategies to Cope and Enhance Joy While Your Separated

• Create a Deployment Countdown

• • Acknowledge the time apart with a creative countdown. This could be a calendar with daily messages or a series of small, wrapped gifts to open each day. Make it festive and fun!

• Connect with Other Families

• • Join local or online support groups where families share similar experiences. Connecting with others who understand can provide a sense of community and support. Mil-spouses know how to show up for each other! Allow your fellow Mil-spouses to assist in any way they might be available for. Return the favor when and if you can.

• Holiday Care Packages

• • Assemble a care package with holiday treats, personalized letters, and small surprises. This not only brings joy to the deployed family member but also involves the family in the process. You can send a special package with your first responder to bring them a little joy while they are on the job. Deliver a special homemade meal to the station if possible.
    

• Virtual Celebrations

• • Leverage technology to create virtual celebrations. Whether it’s opening gifts together on a video call or sharing a virtual meal.

• Embrace Imperfections

• • Understand that not everything has to be perfect. It’s ok if things go the way you wish they could, and it can still be enjoyable. Embrace imperfections and change. Remember that the magic of the holidays lies in the love and connection shared.

• Include Your Loved One’s Presence

• • Set up a special place at the dinner table or hang a stocking for your absent family member. Print their photo and bring it to the holiday meal. This serves as a tangible reminder for the whole family that they are still part of the festivities.

• Document Memories

• • Encourage your family to create a holiday scrapbook or video message for the absent parent. Text or email photos throughout the holiday so they feel like they are sharing in the day as it unfolds. This collaborative effort fosters a sense of togetherness.

• Self-Care Rituals

• • Engage in self-care rituals that bring comfort and joy. This could be a hot cocoa by the fire, a favorite holiday movie, or a quiet moment of reflection. You can also make a point to enjoy some of your family’s favorite holiday traditions. Go caroling, drive around to see the lights, and make cookies for Santa. Traditions don’t have to be put on pause while your loved one is away.