As a marriage and family therapist, I cannot overemphasize how important and valuable healthy communication skills are. This is something I work on with every single client! One way you can step up your parenting is to help your teen develop healthy, effective communication skills, decreasing their stress and increasing their sense of well-being. Communication skills will assist your teen in navigating the complexities of relationships, school, and future endeavors, which will in turn help them feel a lot better. To support you in helping your teen improve their communication skills, I have gathered 10 practical strategies that you can implement ASAP.
- Listening Skills:
I list this one first for a good reason! Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about listening too! For good clear communication it is essential that we listen well! That means listening for the purpose of understanding, NOT just waiting for your turn to talk. Teach your teen the art of active listening by encouraging them to give their full attention when others are speaking. This means gentle eye contact, nods, and eliminating distractions like phones and TV.
Show your teen how to practice paraphrasing (“Oh, It sounds like you think…”) and asking clarifying questions (“Did you mean…?”) to show genuine interest in what others have to say. A super listener not only strengthens relationships but also gains valuable insights from every conversation!
- Embrace the use of “I statements”:
Sometimes, it’s tough for people to express their thoughts and feelings clearly without resorting to frustration or anger, or pointing the finger at someone else. Encourage your teen to use “I statements” when sharing what’s on their mind. “I statements,” are sentences that begin with: I feel, I think, I’m concerned, I’m worried about, I need, I want, I would like, etc. When we use “I statements” correctly, we are sharing our own experience, hence the “I,” and avoiding using “you” to tell the person what their experience is. For instance, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” show your teen how to express, “I feel unheard when I share my thoughts.” “I statements” promote open communication and avoids placing blame, making it an effective tool in their communication toolbox!
- Foster Open Dialogue:
Create an environment where open dialogue is encouraged and valued. Set aside dedicated family time to discuss each other’s days, thoughts, and feelings. This could be over dinner or in the car- it doesn’t have to be too serious either! Just give them an opportunity, some open ended questions, and display that great active listening we just talked about. Let your teen know that their opinions and perspectives matter by not judging what they share- focus on acknowledging and understanding. Fostering open dialogue creates a powerful support system within your family that can help everyone.
- Conflict Resolution Skills:
We are all human here, so the reality is that conflicts are inevitable in life. Teach your teen conflict resolution skills by demonstrating healthy ways to resolve disagreements. Encourage and model for them ways to communicate assertively, express their needs, and actively seek compromises. We want them to feel capable of speaking up when needed, and knowing how to do so with honesty, tact, and kindness to allow them to work cooperatively with people. When teens learn to navigate conflicts constructively, they experience less stress and frustration, and grow in their self-confidence- I call that a no-brainer.
- Use Technology Wisely:
In this modern age, we are moving at a fast pace, and communication involves technology that advances faster than we can keep up with. Encourage them to be aware of both the benefits and pitfalls of their social media use and tech in general, so that they can practice using technology, apps, etc. responsibly and respectfully with regards to themselves and others. Help your teen strike a healthy balance between virtual and face-to-face interactions; remind them that social media has its time and place, while also emphasizing the essential skill of mastering conversations IRL!
- Unmask Non-Verbal Communication:
Communication is not just about the words we say; it’s also about the messages conveyed through non-verbal cues. Encourage and show your teen how to be mindful of their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. This means you can’t roll your eyes when they annoy you! It can be hard, but modeling is one of the best ways we can teach. Invite them to give you feedback on your non-verbal communication and make adjustments if needed. You will show them that it can be helpful to listen to how others are receiving their non-verbal messages.
- Empathy:
Empathy is like a magic wand that makes understanding and compassion appear. Show your teen how to step into someone else’s shoes. Encourage them to practice empathy by considering other people’s feelings and perspectives. When they understand and respect others’ experiences, they can build stronger and more meaningful connections.
- Timing:
Timing is everything! Teach your teen to choose the right moment for important conversations. If timing is off, conversations can go very badly. Encourage them to consider their emotions and state of mind, and that of the other person before tackling tricky topics. This shows your teen how to set themselves up for successful communication.
- Practice Makes Perfect:
Just like we exercise to get strong muscles, we have to practice to get comfortable using our clear effective communication skills. Encourage your teen to use healthy communication skills around the house, over the dinner table, with extended family members. Help your teen prep for a tough conversation by doing a practice run at home with a parent or a trusted friend. Role-playing conversations with friends or family sounds silly but it helps to shake off jitters, build confidence, and feel ready to use the skills they’ve learned. The more they practice, the better they’ll become in effectively using their communication abilities!
- Encourage Public Speaking:
Public speaking is rarely anybody’s favorite thing, however it opens doors to success in various areas of life. Encourage your teen to participate in public speaking opportunities, such as school presentations or debates. Start small: have them order their own meal at restaurants, or handle their own return at a store, or try a drama class. For those who really struggle, Toastmasters for teens can be a great platform for building public speaking skills. By embracing public speaking, your teen can prepare for speaking with confidence in interviews, events, presentations, or any other challenge life may bring.
By following these 10 strategies, you’re empowering your teen to develop healthy communication skills that will serve them throughout their lives. Remember, communication is an important skill that opens doors, strengthens relationships, and allows your teen to navigate the ups and downs of life with grace and confidence. Encourage active listening, embrace “I feel” language, and foster open dialogue within your family. Teach conflict resolution skills, use technology wisely, and unmask non-verbal communication. Promote empathy, understand the importance of timing, and encourage public speaking opportunities. If you need more assistance, or desire more one on one help, come see me or one of the other great therapists at Outside the Norm to support you or your teen in developing healthy communication skills.
