Teen Dating Violence: What is it? How can I see the signs?
Dating violence does not discriminate by age. Teenagers are engaging in relationships that are as serious and intimate as adults do. If they can have this type of a relationship at this age, then it is also possible they may experience abuse from their partner.
Teen dating violence affects millions of young people in the United States. The abuse and violence can take place in person, online, or through technology. The most difficult aspect of teen dating violence is that research states that on average, only one third of teens who are or have been in an abusive relationship ever told anyone (family or friends) about the abuse they experienced.
The CDC completed a study in 2019 that discovered that of US high school students who reported dating during the previous year, one in twelve experienced physical dating violence and/or sexual dating violence. It has been seen that females experience higher rates of dating violence then males. Also, those apart of the LGBTQIA+ community are at higher rates of violence when compared to heterosexual teens.
Briefly, let’s talk about the forms and types of behaviors we see in dating violence.
- Physical violence: A partner intentionally hurts or tries to hurt the other by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.
- Sexual violence: A partner attempts to or does force the other to engage in a sexual act or sexual touching when the other is not consenting or unable to. This would also include non-sexual behaviors like sharing sensitive and exploitative photos online without their consent. Or sexting without the consent of the other.
- Psychological aggression: The use of non-verbal or verbal communication with the goal to harm the other mentally or emotionally. This also includes seeking to exert control over the partner. Examples: “I will kill myself if you leave me.” “If you don’t answer the phone when I text you, I will break up with you.”
- Stalking: Repeated pattern, unwanted attention, and contact by a present or past partner that causes fear or safety concerns for the victim or a close person to the victim.
How can you as a parent recognize signs of teen dating violence? These are some warning signs:
- Seeing insults, intimidation or humiliation
- Extreme jealousy, insecurity, or controlling behavior present
- Isolation from friends and family
- Explosive temper or unusual moodiness
- Showing up unannounced
- Signs of physical injury
- Increase in depression or anxiety symptoms
- Drop in grades or change in peer group
If you are noticing behaviors that are concerning, you can do the following to support your teen and be a protective factor.
- Talk to them honestly and openly about what healthy relationships look like and what violence and abuse looks like.
- Know and recognize the signs of abuse to be able to engage in the conversation or seek support from a professional if signs are present.
- Share concern and willingness to be a support without accusations. Be curious about changes you have noticed.
If you have concerns that your teen is experience abuse from their partner, we can help your teen learn about healthy relationships, communication, and explore their self-worth. There is also support through the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 24/7 at 800-799-7233 or via text by texting START to 88788.
