By Leslie Adams, AMFT #120800
Breaking up with someone you care about is really hard. It can make you feel sad, angry, and confused. Everyone goes through breakups differently, but the pain is something we all understand. In this blog, we’ll talk about why breakups are so stressful and give you some simple ways to feel better.
Why Breakups Are So Hard
- Lots of Emotions: When you break up, you might feel a mix of emotions. One minute you’re sad, the next you’re mad, and then you might feel lonely. These feelings can change quickly and be hard to handle.
- Losing a Part of Yourself: In a relationship, you share a lot with your partner. When it ends, it can feel like a piece of you is missing, and you might wonder who you are without them.
- Physical Pain: Dealing with a breakup doesn’t just hurt your heart—they can hurt your body too. You might have trouble sleeping, lose your appetite, or feel tired all the time. This is because your brain reacts to emotional pain like it does to physical pain.
- Feeling Alone: After a breakup, you might not want to be around people. You could feel embarrassed, anxious, or just need time to yourself. But being alone too much can make you feel even sadder.
- Thinking Too Much: You might keep thinking about what went wrong in the relationship. This can make you feel anxious and stuck, making it hard to move on.
How to Cope with a Breakup
- Let Yourself Be Sad: It’s okay to feel sad after a breakup. Cry if you need to, talk about your feelings, and don’t rush to feel better. Find a sad movie to watch and let yourself cry. Healing takes time.
- Talk to Friends and Family: Don’t go through this alone. Talk to friends or family members who care about you. They can listen, give advice, or just be there for you.
- Take Care of Your Body: Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and staying active. Taking care of your body helps your mind feel better too.
- Do Things You Love: Spend time doing hobbies or activities that make you happy. Whether it’s drawing, playing sports, or reading, doing what you love can help take your mind off the breakup.
- Try Mindfulness: Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment. Deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help you feel calm and reduce stress.
- Talk to a Professional: If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, it might help to talk to a therapist. They can give you tools to cope and help you understand your feelings better.
- Take a Break from Your Ex: It’s usually best to take a break from talking to or seeing your ex. This gives you space to heal without constant reminders of the relationship.
- Set Small Goals: Setting small goals can help you feel more in control. Start with easy tasks and gradually take on bigger challenges. This can boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment.
- Write Down Your Feelings: Journaling can be a great way to express what you’re feeling. Write about your thoughts and emotions without worrying about how it sounds. This can help you make sense of your feelings.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s normal to feel upset after a breakup. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that you will get through it.
Learning from the Breakup
A breakup can also be a time to learn about yourself and grow. Here’s how:
- Think About the Relationship: Take some time to think about what was good and what wasn’t so good in the relationship. What did you learn about yourself? This can help you understand what you want and don’t want in the future.
- Notice Patterns: Look at your past relationships. Are there things that keep happening? Understanding these patterns can help you make better choices next time.
- Focus on Self-Growth: Use this time to work on yourself. Pick up new hobbies, learn something new, or work on personal goals. This can help you feel better and more confident.
- Set Boundaries: Think about what boundaries you need in future relationships to feel safe and respected. Healthy boundaries are important for any relationship.
Moving Forward
Getting over a breakup takes time, but there are steps you can take to move on:
- Embrace New Opportunities: See the end of the relationship as a chance for a fresh start. Be open to new experiences and meeting new people.
- Build Your Confidence: Breakups can make you doubt yourself. Rebuild your confidence by setting and achieving small goals, taking care of yourself, and spending time with people who make you feel good.
- Stay Positive: Try to focus on the good things in your life. Practicing gratitude—thinking about what you’re thankful for—can help you stay positive.
- Take It One Day at a Time: Healing is a process. Take things one day at a time and celebrate the small victories. Every day is a step toward feeling better.
- Open Your Heart Again: When you’re ready, allow yourself to open up to new relationships. Take what you’ve learned from the past and use it to build healthier, happier connections.
Conclusion
Dealing with a breakup is tough, but it can also help you grow and learn. By understanding your feelings, leaning on your support system, and taking care of your health, you can get through this difficult time. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. If you’re interested in getting support from a professional, reach out to schedule a session with a therapist. Healing takes time, and therapy can support you through that process. Be patient with yourself and know that you will feel happy again.
Talk to a Therapist
The constant rush to meet deadlines while managing child-rearing and a never-ending to-do list can be overwhelming. By setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and effectively managing time, working moms can find balance and prevent burnout. Welcome to Outside the Norm Counseling, where we specialize in helping individuals, couples, and families overcome anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges. Take the first step towards a healthier, happier you—contact Outside the Norm Counseling today and start your journey to healing and balance! Call 951-395-3288 to book your in person or telehealth session.