A Parent’s Guide to Understanding, Supporting, and Seeking Help
Hearing your teen say, “I don’t want to be here anymore,” is one of the most terrifying and heartbreaking moments a parent can experience. You may feel paralyzed with fear, unsure of what to do or say. Your mind races with questions:
- Are they serious?
- Is this just teen moodiness, or something more?
- What do I say? What don’t I say? How do I help them?
At Outside The Norm Counseling in Temecula, CA, we work with parents just like you—parents who are desperate to help their child but feel completely lost. The reality is that when a teen expresses thoughts of not wanting to be here, it is a cry for help that must be taken seriously.
This blog will guide you through:
- Understanding why your teen may feel this way
- What NOT to say and how to have the conversation
- Signs of suicidal ideation to watch for
- The process of getting professional help, including Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHPs) and residential treatment
- How therapy can help your teen find hope again. (Click here to read what to do when your teen refuses therapy.)
If your teen is in immediate danger, call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or 911 for emergency assistance.
Talking About Suicide May Be Difficult, But It’s Essential
Many parents fear that discussing suicide will “put the idea in their teen’s head.” This is a dangerous myth. Research shows that talking openly about suicide actually reduces risk because it creates a safe space for discussion and intervention.
“Suicide impacts almost everyone directly or indirectly. Hearing about it from a trusted source, like a parent or caregiver, will provide your child with the right information and make them more likely to reach out when they need help.”
— Kristin Francis, MD, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist
Even if your teen’s words terrify you, the most important thing you can do is listen without judgment and reassure them that their feelings matter.
Why Would My Teen Say This? Understanding Their Pain
Teenagers today face more pressure than ever—academic stress, social media comparisons, family conflicts, identity struggles, and more. Mental health challenges can feel unbearable.
When a teen expresses suicidal thoughts, they may be feeling:
- Overwhelmed by school, friendships, or family problems
- Hopeless that things will never get better
- Like a burden to those around them
- Emotionally exhausted from pretending they’re okay
- Trapped with no way out of their struggles
Even if your teen isn’t actively considering suicide, these feelings must be taken seriously.
Signs Your Teen May Be Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
Even if your teen has not directly said they don’t want to be here, they may still be experiencing suicidal thoughts. Look for these warning signs:
- Talking about death, dying, or not wanting to exist
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Significant changes in sleep or appetite
- Losing interest in activities they once loved
- Increased irritability, anger, or sudden mood swings
- Expressing feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
- Giving away personal belongings
- Engaging in reckless or self-destructive behaviors
If you notice any of these warning signs, reach out for professional help immediately.
Immediate Steps to Take If Your Teen Says, “I Don’t Want to Be Here Anymore”
1. Take Their Words Seriously
Never assume they are just being dramatic. Every mention of suicide should be treated as serious.
2. Stay Calm and Listen
Even though you may be feeling panicked inside, it is crucial to remain calm.
What to say:
- “I love you, and I want to understand what you’re going through.”
- “I’m so sorry you feel this way. Let’s talk about it together.”
- “You don’t have to go through this alone. I will help you find support.”
What NOT to say:
- “You have so much to live for.”
- “Why would you say that?”
- “You’re just being dramatic.”
These statements may make your teen feel dismissed and shut down the conversation.
3. Remove Immediate Dangers
If your teen is in crisis, remove potential means of self-harm:
- Secure firearms, medications, and sharp objects
- Stay physically close and do not leave them alone
- Ensure a safe environment
4. Seek Professional Help Immediately
- Call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) for immediate support
- Contact Outside The Norm Counseling at 951-395-3288 to schedule therapy
- Go to the nearest emergency room if necessary
What Happens Next? Understanding the Treatment Process
If your teen is actively suicidal, they may need a higher level of care beyond weekly therapy.
1. Residential Treatment Programs (RTC)
- Best for teens with severe suicidal ideation or multiple suicide attempts
- 24/7 supervision in a structured, therapeutic setting
- Typically lasts 4-6 months
- Focuses on intensive mental health treatment
2. Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHPs)
- Best for teens who are struggling but don’t need 24/7 care
- Teens attend therapy 5-6 hours per day, 5 days a week
- Stay at home at night with family support
- Lasts several weeks to a few months
3. Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs)
- A step down from PHP—3-4 days per week of structured therapy
- Supports transition back into daily life
- Focuses on coping skills and relapse prevention
4. Individual and Family Therapy
Once your teen has stabilized, they transition to weekly therapy.
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) – Rewires negative thought patterns
- DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) – Teaches emotional regulation
- Family Therapy – Strengthens parent-teen communication
At Outside The Norm Counseling, we provide individual and family therapy for teens who have completed PHP or residential programs to help them continue their recovery.
Call 951-395-3288 today to schedule an appointment.
About the Author: Why I Understand This Firsthand
I’m Veronica Cisneros, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I know firsthand how terrifying it is when a parent hears their teen express suicidal thoughts.
Before opening Outside The Norm Counseling, I spent five years working in a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP), where I supported countless parents in navigating crisis situations with their teens. I understand the confusion, fear, and exhaustion that come with trying to get your child the right care.
That’s why at Outside The Norm Counseling, my team and I are here to walk you through every step—from understanding your teen’s struggles to finding the right level of care.
If your teen is struggling, don’t wait. Call 951-395-3288 today.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone
Your teen’s pain is real—but so is the hope for healing. Early intervention saves lives, and your love, support, and action can make a difference.
At Outside The Norm Counseling, we are here to help you navigate this incredibly difficult journey with compassion, expertise, and unwavering support.
- Call 951-395-3288 today to schedule a consultation.
- If your teen is in crisis, call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
Your teen’s life matters. You are not alone. Help is available.
